Proverbs 22:6 has caused many righteous parents, over the years, to question their righteousness, or even their conversion, when their children who had been trained in the way of righteousness and truth later departed from it. They concluded that it must have been their fault that their children did not stay loyal to God.
However, a close look at Proverbs 22:6 might reveal that the righteous parents caused unnecessary grief for themselves in this matter (Of course, we must also realize that many parents who thought that they were converted Christians might not have been converted at all, which might be evidenced by the fact that they later left the Way of Truth, compare 1 John 2:19).
First of all, let us briefly rehearse a few examples from the Biblical record of righteous parents and less-than-righteous children. For instance, we know that David was a righteous man who will be in the kingdom of God. But his son Absalom rebelled against his father and God. David’s son Amnon violated his own sister. And even David’s son Solomon departed from God’s way of life–at least temporarily.
Samuel was a righteous prophet of God. But his sons did not walk in God’s ways (1 Samuel 8:3).
Abraham was God’s friend. God said of him that He knew that his descendants would walk in the way of truth (Genesis 18:19). But in the case of Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, his conversion came rather late in his life–apparently when he wrestled with God (Genesis 32:22-32).
Noah was a righteous man, but the Bible does not say that his sons were righteous. In fact, we read that his grandson Canaan, the son of Ham, violated and sexually abused his own grandfather.
Lot was a righteous man, but this cannot be said about his two daughters (Genesis 19:30-38).
There is even strong evidence to conclude that Moses’ grandson, Jonathan, was deeply involved in idolatry (compare Q&A, “Moses’ Cushite Wife,” in Update #136).
This is not to imply that those parents (or grandparents) did everything right in their childrearing duties. They certainly made mistakes, to be sure. But it cannot be assumed that they did not at all train up their children in the path of righteousness. Still, their children did not uphold that way in their later lives. Why?
We read in 1 Corinthians 7:14 that the children of a married couple are “holy,” as long as at least one parent is a true Christian. This means that they have been set aside for a holy purpose–that is, they CAN come to and develop a relationship with God, if they want to. They are not cut off from God, as the rest of the world is. But it is still their responsibility to take hold of this opportunity (compare Q&A, “1 Corinthians 7:14,” in Update #61).
The Bible makes it very clear that in the end, every person is individually responsible for what he or she is doing. To blame shortcomings on others is not going to impress God in the slightest. In Ezekiel 18:4, God explains that the soul which sins will die. He then describes a righteous father who begets an unrighteous son, and explains that the unrighteous son will die because of his unrighteousness, while the father will live because of his righteousness (Ezekiel 18:5-13). Please note that even though the father was righteous, his son turned out to be unrighteous. We also read in Ezekiel 14:20:
“‘… even though Noah, Daniel, and Job were in it, as I live,’ says the LORD God, ‘they would deliver neither son nor daughter; they would deliver only themselves by their righteousness.”‘
How, then, are we to understand Proverbs 22:6? It reads: “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Some claim, this passage implies that the child might depart for a while from God’s Way of Life, but later return to what he has been trained in. Some go a step further and claim that the correct rendering should be, “Train up a child in the way he should go, EVEN when he is old he will not depart from it.” They teach that this passage conveys the thought that the child will never depart from his way, throughout his life, including or even when he is old. Most, though, reject this rendering and interpretation.
Some commentaries feel, however, that this passage does not address the concept of training a child in the way of God’s righteousness.
The Soncino Commentary writes: “The intention is not ‘the way of uprightness and good living,’ but ‘for the way in which he is to spend his life.’ Whatever occupation he is later to follow, it is necessary to prepare him for it in his early years, because then are habits formed which influence his conduct in manhood.”‘
The Broadman Bible Commentary disagrees slightly, pointing out: “The ‘way he should go’ of v. 6 is not defined specifically, but in the context there can be little doubt that it includes the way reflected in the positive elements of vv. 1, 3, 4, 5, i.e., pious and properly prepared for life. However, this may well include vocational training as well. The training needed for life should be given in the early years, when habits and patterns of behavior and work are set.”
In light of the fact that the Bible emphasizes individual responsibility, it must be concluded that Proverbs 22:6 does not intend to impress the idea that the righteous teaching of parents will automatically lead to the conversion of a child. It is true, of course, that parents are to teach their children about God and His Way of Life (Deuteronomy 11:18-19). But this does not mean that converted parents can bring about the conversion of their children. God must do the calling and lead one to conversion, and He calls whom HE chooses. He called Jacob and refused to call Esau before they were born (Romans 9:9-13)–regardless of how Isaac and Rebecca would raise them. In addition, the children themselves have their own responsibility in the matter. We read that King Josiah was about 16 years old when he “began to seek the God of his father David…” (2 Chronicles 34:3).
In conclusion, Proverbs 22:6 does not contain an unconditional promise that the training of a righteous parent will bring about the conversion of his or her children. The chances may be greatly increased, but the actual calling to conversion and salvation is still subject to God’s Will and the child’s reaction in the matter. But what an unspeakable joy and blessing it is when righteous parents see their children follow them in their paths of righteousness.
For more information on proper child-rearing and the mystery of God’s Calling in this day and age, please read our free booklets, “The Keys to Happy Marriages and Families,” and “Are You Predestined to be Saved?”
Lead Writer: Norbert Link